so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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