so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
