tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my poor anus
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