Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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