you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
