well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
