My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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