Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
