i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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