So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
