Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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