hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
