I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize