dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
