He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
be right there i have to get my cape
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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