Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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