Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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