He passed out mid-signature
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
