It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
