my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
