Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
