i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
