Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
