I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
