Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize