Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I sprained my soul last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
