i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
