I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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