maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
