I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
