My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
