dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
