My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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