Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
