just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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