so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
