Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize