Only a mothe r could love this liver
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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