what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
