Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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