does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
