There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
should my penis look like a turkey
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
