So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
