i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
