She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
