It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
