We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
