I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He? As in you personified your dick?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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