did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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