are you still at the devil's house?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
