dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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