i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
