When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
