I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
