yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
