Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
