she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
