yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
