I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize