she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
