Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
