Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
