Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
